Sunday, November 10, 2013

Procrastination 101

in case you're looking for ideas...
  1. Keep multiple calendars. Wall calendar at home.  Another at work.  Appointments calendar on your iPhone. Google calendar on your laptop (because you're not loyal to Apple, and your 5-year-old ThinkPad works just fine).  Monthly dry-erase calendar for each of your children (except the youngest, who can't read yet). Write on these in permanent marker, as otherwise the boys would wipe each other's entries off "accidentally on purpose"; better some rubbing alcohol, roll of paper towels, and lots of elbow grease once a month than having to play referee yet again on a daily basis.
  2. Update said calendars regularly.
  3. Read your email.  Especially the multiple posts from Barr. Phillip Butulezi, an attorney of law to a deceased client who left behind Fifteen Million one hundred thousand united states dollars (US$15,100,000.00)-- money that is unclaimed, and YOU are the only person who can help gain access to this fortune.  
  4. Troll the entertainment websites to get the latest on Miley Cyrus and her tongue, Kate and Will et al., and Jennifer Aniston's hair (yep, it's in the news again).
  5. Flip from book to book to book.  You've got that TBR stack on your bedside, not to mention the virtual one on your e-reader of choice -- and really, how and when else are you to get through it?
  6. Pick the most complicated DIY Halloween costumes for all three kids, and get started on them.  Even though next Halloween is still eleven months away.  
  7. Browse through for all those knick-knacks which you're never going to need.  Add them to your basket.  Then delete.
  8. Answer the phone, every time it rings.  Especially when it's the Affordable Care Act robo-caller telling you about the wonderful new website you can visit to enroll for medical insurance.  Go to said website, and try to enroll.  Keep at it!  It's bound to work eventually.
  9. Turn on the TV.  Or Tivo.  Or Hulu.  Or (fill in your viewing medium of choice).
  10. Return to #1.  Repeat.